Dwight considered himself to be a lucky man - luckier than most men at least. Though he had never married, he was in all respects never lonely. There were a bevy of women who enjoyed his company and for good reasons - Dwight was a caring man. So caring in fact, that he felt that it would be wrong to put any one woman through the turmoil of having to deal with all the caring he had to give.
Dwight had enjoyed many sexual exploits and had done some things that he was downright ashamed of. He had had sex for money. He had slept with women and men in just about all fifty states. And, on his fiftieth birthday, Dwight had slept with a former First Lady of the United States – he would never admit who.
But there was one thing that Dwight still had not done, he had never been with more than one woman at the same time and that, Dwight would say, would be his penultimate accomplishment. His ultimate accomplishment would be to sit back and listen to St. Peter recall his life – though he was not actually Catholic and wasn’t sure how that “whole thing” worked.
February 29, 1968 was a cold and blustery day. Those kinds of days always made Dwight a bit horny and, as he sat at his boss's son Paul's bar mitzvah, he couldn't help but notice a table of three women staring at him. For a man in his sixties, he was a hunk and Sadie, Esmeralda, and Ruth agreed that he was more man for any single one of them could handle alone. Together, they figured, he could be tamed.
They knew of his reputation and that excited them. Ruth had actually met him years earlier, slept with him, and quickly forced herself to forget upon her husband's return from a business trip. Her husband was now dead. Esmeralda’s husband was clueless. And Sadie's husband was currently in a coma as a result of Sadie's as-of-yet uninvestigated Manishevitz and sleeping pill concoction.
The three women, inspired by the love children of San Francisco they had read about in Life Magazine and drunk on cosmos, approached Dwight. They were blunt and to the point. They offered. Dwight accepted.
Overhearing the conversation, Paul quickly darted to snatch a camera upstairs. Hurrying, he was able to catch them just as they were about to leave.
When Dwight died three years later of a heart attack he was met by St. Peter. St. Peter blushed as his life was recalled. Dwight died a happy man.
