Sex Between Friends

Dwight considered himself to be a lucky man - luckier than most men at least. Though he had never married, he was in all respects never lonely. There were a bevy of women who enjoyed his company and for good reasons - Dwight was a caring man. So caring in fact, that he felt that it would be wrong to put any one woman through the turmoil of having to deal with all the caring he had to give.
Dwight had enjoyed many sexual exploits and had done some things that he was downright ashamed of. He had had sex for money. He had slept with women and men in just about all fifty states. And, on his fiftieth birthday, Dwight had slept with a former First Lady of the United States – he would never admit who.
But there was one thing that Dwight still had not done, he had never been with more than one woman at the same time and that, Dwight would say, would be his penultimate accomplishment. His ultimate accomplishment would be to sit back and listen to St. Peter recall his life – though he was not actually Catholic and wasn’t sure how that “whole thing” worked.
February 29, 1968 was a cold and blustery day. Those kinds of days always made Dwight a bit horny and, as he sat at his boss's son Paul's bar mitzvah, he couldn't help but notice a table of three women staring at him. For a man in his sixties, he was a hunk and Sadie, Esmeralda, and Ruth agreed that he was more man for any single one of them could handle alone. Together, they figured, he could be tamed.
They knew of his reputation and that excited them. Ruth had actually met him years earlier, slept with him, and quickly forced herself to forget upon her husband's return from a business trip. Her husband was now dead. Esmeralda’s husband was clueless. And Sadie's husband was currently in a coma as a result of Sadie's as-of-yet uninvestigated Manishevitz and sleeping pill concoction.
The three women, inspired by the love children of San Francisco they had read about in Life Magazine and drunk on cosmos, approached Dwight. They were blunt and to the point. They offered. Dwight accepted.
Overhearing the conversation, Paul quickly darted to snatch a camera upstairs. Hurrying, he was able to catch them just as they were about to leave.
When Dwight died three years later of a heart attack he was met by St. Peter. St. Peter blushed as his life was recalled. Dwight died a happy man.

Rudie Was In Your Home

Rudie was a demented man, though few were aware of just how crazed he was. Even now, years after his death, very few are aware that living right in their back yard was a crazy man. Literally! Rudie literally lived in the backyards of his neighbors.
Sure, Rudie had a proper house of his own, right at 52 Maple Street, near where the pharmacy is today. But Rudie spent very little time at his own home. Usually, he could be found in any one of the dozens of backyards of his neighbors - if anyone had actually ever looked for him. Which they didn't.
Rudie was, for all intents and purposes, harmless in that he never would cause physical harm to anyone he ever met or had not yet met. No, Rudie's true dementia came out in his obsessions with other people's lives. Though today we would call him a voyeur, in his day, they would have called him a Peeping Tom. That is, if anyone had ever caught him in the act. There were those who speculated, even publicly, but they were usually met with disbelief.
The culmination of Rudie's obsession with people's lives would usually come to a paramount when he would work up the nerve to enter someone else's home. It wasn’t necessary for the inhabitants to not be home, Rudie entered homes as he lived much of his life: quietly. While inside, he would usually play with various items, sit in most chairs, and ultimately photograph himself in the home.
He developed the pictures himself in a rather sophisticated color dark room in his basement. After development, he would place the photo in a corresponding envelope with the family's name and address written on the envelope.
Rudie died quietly and alone. At the reading of his will, no one attended, but the executor was instructed to find the envelopes in a box underneath his stairs, stamp the envelopes, and place them in the mail without question or investigation. He did just that and on the following Wednesday afternoon dozens of families received envelopes containing a photograph of a jolly stranger in their own home.

Can't Buy Me Love 2

Someone has taken the time -- as well as a good deal of emotional investment -- to set up an on-line petition demanding a sequel to Can’t Buy Me Love. The petition, to "movie studios," urges that the sequel to the 1987 film star Patrick Dempsey & Amanda Peterson - the original film's stars.
I think it would be really special if we all joined this noble fight.
It's the right thing to do.
C'mon, won't you please help out?
Woncha?
Please.

Sign here

Estelle's Dilemma

Estelle couldn't stand her family. She detested the very thought of having to spend every holiday with them. In actuality, there was not really anything wrong with her family. The problem was Estelle. She was in all respects a horrid person.
Estelle's twin sister, Shirley, was really no better. She too hated the very thought of spending multiple hours with a group of people with "no class" and no respect for the finer things in life. Shirley had moved to Boca Raton for the sole reason of getting away from everyone. Shirley's only joy was seeing Estelle. She felt the two of them had a special bond that was not shared by anyone else. Estelle hated Shirley more than anyone else.
Thanksgiving 1978 would be the last time Estelle, she swore, would sit through the holiday drama. Estelle was forced to sit between Shirley and Aunt Mo. Aunt Mo's chatter and "horrid accent" were eased by the fact that Estelle was almost entirely deaf in her left ear. The seating situation was only worsened by the fact that one of her nephews sitting across from her had been fiddling with a new camera for much of the day trying to make it work. Estelle had worked at Photomat for much of her adult life and could have easily shown him how to work it, but considered it too much trouble. She hated pictures and never understood people's obsession with cameras.
The only thing that could make this day any better would be if Estelle and Shirley's Father, a life long car salesman, would just quit with the fart jokes. They knew this would never happen. So they would continue to glare at him with a judging stare after each and every joke.
"I got it."
Snap.

Maria and Whats-His-Name

1989 was a weird year for Maria. She had been separated from Tom for about a year. Tom had told her that he was moving on. Maria was still holding on to the idea that the two could end up working it out. In actuality, Tom was miserable and lonely, but otherwise he was sure that the separation was for the best, Maria, on the other hand, began a semi-destructive ritual of bar hopping.
She was by no means a slut although she would, years later and only partially in jest, refer to the time as her "Slut Years."
Maria frequented Backwater Tides, a bar once imagined as a Caribbean-themed eatery in South Jersey that now only possessed the name and no other remnant of this in its decor. Maria would usually show up alone, but became quite friendly with the bar staff, particularly a young female bartender named Simone. Simone was younger than Maria. Simone loved to think of Maria as the sister she never had despite the fact that she had two older sisters, one younger sister, and a younger brother who would (though not as of yet) become the foremost Madeline Albright female impersonator of South Jersey.
Maria slept with a few guys during her "Slut Years." Some where regulars, others were after work imbibers from a local insurance firm. Charles was the latter.
Charles had seen Maria a few times and referred to her as an "easy mark." In reality, Charles barely had a shot with her. He was snide in his masculinity, yet questioned about his sexual orientation on a near-daily basis. He had boasted of the dozens of women that had "been lucky enough to share an evening with 'The Rocket,'" as he was quite fond of calling himself, but really, Charles had only slept with three different women at the time.
Maria had just finished a rather "shitty" conversation with Tom, three shooters of Fuzzy Navel, two vodka-cranberries, and half a pack of Marlboro Reds when Charles walked over with two Budweisers. Charles introduced himself. Asked her name. Informed her that he had been watching her. She was mildly amused, but quite drunk. She figured that he would work. Charles was thinking the same.
"Maria!" It was Simone with one of those fancy new cameras. "... and"
"Charles, it's Charles. And you are?"
Snap.

George and Marla Reunited after all these years

Was it really her? Really? Yes it was. George couldn't believe his eyes. And this time it was not as a result of the drink. It was really Marla after all these years. There she was in all her glory, exacly as he remembered her.
Finally, the two had been reunited. And it really did feel so good - as George often speculated. He had never married.
The two talked for ten minutes about the old times and the whats new. Marla's husband, Charlie, was a little jealous - as he would confide in her later - but he didn't care.
The two hugged awkwardly and were just about to say their goodbyes when Susan walked by and snapped a picture. She got Marla's address and promised to send her a copy. She never did.

Ronald and Linda's Prom

Ronald had been working up the nerve to ask Linda to the prom. It wasn't actually Linda's prom, it was just Ronald's. Linda had graduated the year before from Vasco de Gamma High School and was currently pursuing an Associate Degree in Astrology from a nearby progressive junior college. Ronald was impressed by Linda's ambition and would often joke, "College, I mean, wow! Linda's so smart. I can't ever even remember the name of that place, let alone, you know." Most agreed it was barely a joke.
Ronald worked at the Ground Round. Linda also worked there. Ronald as a dishwasher, Linda as a hostess and sometime waitress.
Linda had seen Ronald around. They spoke on occation and even once smoked a joint together in Larry the Cook's van. Linda was in the front seat, Ronald was in the back with a few other guys. Linda never acknowledged anyone in the back the entire time, preferring instead to be bedazzled by Larry's new interior and CB radio.
The day Ronald finally asked Linda to the prom was a special day for Ronald. He had been able to sneak an extra break at work by "just not arguing" when Smitty sent him on break apparently forgetting the fact that Ronald had just had a break. Linda was also on break. After Ronald reminded Linda of who he was, he asked her to the prom. She had missed her own prom the year before for reasons no one knew for sure. She bregrudgingly said yes. Later, Linda would confide in Larry that she just felt so sorry for him.
The weeks leading up to the prom were ones filled with sheer jubilation in Ronald and mild trepidation in Linda. She said she would go so she would go. That was the kind of person she was. Somewhere inside Ronald was aware of this.
Ronald borrowed Larry's van with the instructions that if he fucked anything up, Larry would surely fuck him up. Ronald agreed. He would be careful and even would return the van with the tank "pretty much full."
Ronald dropped Larry off at the bowling alley on his way to pick up Linda. Linda's folks were warm to Ronald noticing that he was a tad nervous. Linda's father had plans to "play the mean dad" but quickly dropped those plans upon being quite impressed with Ronald's clean style.
Linda's mom insisted that the two pose for a picture in front of the Levittowner before they were off to the prom. Both agreed.
Linda's dad got the camera as Linda's mom posed the kids. Linda's dad sanpped the picture.

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