Porn Vending

Photos of items for sale currently on E-Bay.




As some of my loyal readers (in theory of course) may remember, I aquired several BetaMax Adult Videos from the P _ _ _ _ _ _ C _ _ _ _ _ _ Library a little while back. Now you can own all the above videos for an unheard-of-ly low price. This post is actually here becasue of the weird Adult Materials policies regarding "no more than two images" on EBay. Really, this stuff is probably just barely porn by today's standards.

Deconstructing Walmart

In May or June of 2006, Bowling Green Ohio was given the gift of a new Walmart - A Super Walmart.
Today, while driving past the location of both the old Walmart and the new Walmart, I noticed the half-intact shell of the old Walmart, in the process of being demolished. Thought I'd share...

Forgot about this one... Jordan Knight

Been cleaning the offices of Cornslaw Industries today, finding stuff along the way.

This is my ticket for the Jordan Knight (of New Kids on the Block fame) performance at Nate & Wally's Fishbowl in Bowling Green, Ohio on February 24th, 2006.
It was weird.
Too much tequila.
Some guy from 98 Degrees "performed" as well.

needed a place to put this...

On Neglecting... and Discoveries

I certainly have been neglectful of the Ironic Moustache.

Cornslaw [dot} Com has a new design. The new design here is supposed to emulate the home page -- integration.

This blog was the listed first if you Googled "Ironic Moustache" (Even without the quotes), but now - possibly as a result of the afore mentioned neglect - someone elses blog entry has beaten us out... must post more.

Trying to figure out the ins and outs of podcasting.

Designing new site for my (academic) program. Look here after August 2006. I had nothing to do with the current design.

Just found out that my free Flickr account doesn't archive your pictures beyond 200, e.g. only the most recent 200 are available, the others are gone. Serves me right for always clicking past that pesky contract shit.

MySpace is pretty addictive.

Summer in BG, Ohio is pretty boring. At least most of the student body has returned to their respective homes for the summer.

That is all.

Oh yeah, X-Men 3 was stupid.

End of the Semester

Semester number two is out of the way. Actually, this is semester number 17 (roughly) out of the way.

Here is drawing I did during my (thus far) least favorite class of my post graduate career. 25 years of school and I still doodle incessantly throughout classes.

I never could draw feet or hands.

Videos hit 1000

The Cornslaw Industries Google Video Promenade has hit 1000 videos.
The charge is led by Concerned's ironic performance of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" which has been viewed over 500 times, but we'll take it.

More to come.

The Courteous Ninjas

To understand the Courteous Ninjas is to truly understand music for all it is. Furthermore, once you have succumbed to the awesome power of the the Ninjas, you will only then actually begin to enjoy life.

Here is the story:

In the late 1960s, the world's super heroes really sucked. They did nothing and crime was rampant. Also at this time a group of young men were faced with a decision. One, they could enter the music industry, dominate it, and produce some of the finest music the Western world would ever know or, two, they could pick up the slack for all the suck-ass superheroes of the world and rid the world of crime once and for all.
I think we all know the story from there: the world was, as a result of the Ninja's selfless sacrifice, rendered crime free.
In the late 1990s, a prominent record exec approached the aging Courteous Ninjas, long since retired from the superhero game, with an offer to reclaim what was rightfully theirs: three decades of rock.
Much to the chagrin of the other subservient musicians of the world, the Ninjas were still good. Really good. Really really good.
The Ninjas were so good, in fact, that practice would have actually hurt their performances. Finding no real need to master the music that was as natural as the crime-free air that surrounded them, the Ninjas produced the critically acclaimed, undisputed best music ever.
Led by their dynamic lead vocalist, Lance Manyon, the Ninjas also consisted of Hal Crotchborne on the drums, Capt. Major Moto (Ret.) on bass, and the dueling powerhouse guitars of Coitus Maximus and Maximillion Power. For a short time, they had a keyboard player, but no one remembers his name - not even the keyboard player.
Prepare to be rocked. Hard!

THE NINJAS master "SMOKE ON THE WATER" (direct link)


THE NINJAS master "JUKE BOX HERO" (direct link)


THE NINJAS master "CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE" (direct link)


THE NINJAS master "BLITZKRIEG BOP" (direct link)


THE NINJAS master "DIRTY DEEDS" (direct link)

Barbara Broadcast

Barbara Broadcast
Originally uploaded by cornslaw.

In the Fall of 2005, BGSU's infamous Popular Culture Library purged the collection their BetaMax Adult Film collection - or, at least, a substantial portion of it. At first, I took only a couple of the films, then I went back to get the rest. These films are, for my purposes, unwatchable - I do not own a working BetaMax. The covers are a great example of the porn film industry's "golden age." The films all appear to have been produced in the 1970s and early 1980s and the tapes were all made in the early 1980s.
I am contemplating putting the lot on eBay - I figure they are probably worth something to someone out there.

To view the entire set, go to A Collection of Classic Adult Film BetaMax Covers

My New Best Friend Says Hello

Concerned, Part 3

Three more videos from the first party at Molly's house - not the first one she ever had, I'm sure, but the first one I taped Concerned playing at.
Here are songs seven, eight, and nine: "Shattered," "Deceived," and a cover of Youth of Today's "Freewill." For songs one through six, see posts ONE and TWO.

Some song titles are pretty much guesses...

"Shattered" (direct link)


"Deceived" (direct link)


"Freewill" (direct link)

The Day the Space Ships Landed

Glenda was sure she would be the one to greet the aliens when they finally arrived. She knew approximately where they would land and she knew approximately when they would land. She was so sure that she forced her husband to move to the Jersey shore in order to better prepare for their coming. She was correct.
On certain mornings, Glenda would awake in a panic, scream - which would, in turn, awake her husband, and frantically prepare to go to the beach. She was sure that is where the aliens would come. She was unsure of which beach in particular would entice the alien visitors - would it be Avalon, Barnegat Light, perhaps Seaside - so she would go with her feeling on a given day.
This day she chose correctly. Just as the alien space craft came into sight, Glenda grabbed her husbands arm, screamed - which, in turn, startled her husband, and posed for a picture. Her husband was given strict orders to wait until the space craft was in plain view behind Glenda, but this was just another in a series of strict orders given to Glenda's husband. He was quite prone to fail most orders.
"Ooh, ooh... here it comes, ready?"
"Yes, Glenda, I'm ready."
"Like I said, wait until it's in plain view."
"Yes, yes, I know... *snap* ... whoops."
"Whoops? What?"
"I took a picture already."
"So, take another one."
"Glenda, I forgot to get more film."

Concerned, Part 2

Here are three more videos from the same party as the "Concerned, Part 1" post. Concerned playing in Morrisville, PA in either 1991 or 1992. Concerned would morph into Prema and record two albums for Equal Vision Records.

"Known" (direct link) (I think that's the title of this one)


"Differences" (direct link)


"What Goes Around" (direct link) (Again, I think that's what it's called)

Concerned, Part 1

Here are the first 3 videos from the first of two parties Concerned (who would later morph into Equal Vision recording artists Prema) plaed at Molly M.'s parents house in Morrisille, PA (I've omitted Molly's last name in case she does not want to be connected to this blog, videos, etc. - it's been years since I've spoken to her). There are 11 videos total from this party. I think they actually played 12 songs, but I missed recording the cover of Insight Out's "No Spiritual Surrender."
I had originally believed this show to be from 1992 - hence the 1992's that run throughout the videos - but I now believe it was from 1991... feel free to correct me. Also, one or two of the songs may have the incorrect titles - I did my best.
There is plenty more to come in the coming weeks/months.

"The Truth"


"Desinty"


"In the End"

Refuse to Fall

Straight-Edge Krishna-Conscious Hardcore from Texas.

I never got a chance to see Refuse to Fall live. In fact, I have no idea what the origin of this tape is. It comes from a tape that got passed around, copied, and re-copied between some friends when I was in high school (or junior high, not sure). I assume the date in the lower right to be accurate - I have no reason to doubt it. I think the show has got to be from somewhere in between Baltimore/Washington DC and Boston for us (in Bucks County, PA) to get a hold of it.

I do not know the first song. The second song, "Temporary Eye," is unfortunately cut just as it's starting.

"Temporary Eye" is on the the Soulfire (Equal Vision) 7"/EP, which is awesome! I thought that in high school and, after a re-listen recently, still think that. Search around the web, you'll find some mp3s. I don't think it is still in print, but you may be able to find it.

Not sure what ever happened to them.

My New Favorite Old Wall Paper

I really can't even come up with a story that would do this picture justice.
So I present this picture sans story.

Both Kinds of Killing

I would just like to take a brief moment to say that anyone who is exlusionary in his/her killings is an asshole. Let this serve as a lesson to us all and help bring this worls a little closer.

Thank you.

Larry's Home From School

Larry had been home from college for exactly three days, four hours, and five minutes before he got himself in some sort of trouble. The specific reason for his trouble was not nearly as interesting to Larry as the fact that he was able to pin-point the moment and become entranced with the 3,4,5 anomaly. It was precisely because of this that he ran the stoplight - the only stoplight in town - on his way home. Larry was in a hurry, but that's not why he ran the stoplight. He was always a very careful and cautious driver. He ran the stop light because he was checking out his calculator watch. He was in a hurry because of acute paranoia.
Larry had been away at State U studying chemistry. In his three semesters at school Larry learned four things. He was a stud with the ladies. He was never going to finish college. How to make LSD. And that with the LSD, his small town of loyal Pink Floyd fans, and a little of the ol' college try (minus the college part of course), he did not need college.
Larry had planned to build an empire. An empire built upon the sale of synthesized mind-altering substances. His best friend Mook said he would do most of the leg work. Larry just had to sit back and make the shit.
On this day, his fourth day home (do the math), Larry became paranoid that his parents (one of the world's foremost preeminent husband-wife dating experts teams) knew.
They knew everything.
They knew he was not going back to school.
They knew that his chemistry set was not being used for good as he always assured them.
He knew they would turn him in.
Getting pulled over for running the stoplight just added to this.
In actuality, it changed nothing. Larry was safe. Safe from the police. Safe from his parents. Safe. In fact, if this day had turned out differently, Larry could have made enough money in a few shorts years and gotten out of the game before anyone would even notice.
But it didn't.
Larry, parked his car, ran into the front door, and was met with his parents standing, waiting for him. They had enjoyed the brownies he left for them, but questioned why they weren't left in the kitchen rather than his room. It was almost as if they were hidden, they joked. They were still, unbeknownst to Larry, completely clueless.
They had a young girl with them. She was a new acquaintance from work and they figured that her and Larry would just hit it off. She loved the brownies too and was really impressed with a man who could cook.
Larry's dad motioned everyone to come into the dining room. He had taken to new 35 millimeter home from work to fool around with it.
"Everyone smile."

snap.

Who's the King, Baby?

Who's the King, Baby?

You are, you're the King.

Damn right. Come here, Baby.

Oh, I...

Ah heck, I'm coming to you.

Smootch.

It Certainly Has Been A Long Time

... Why yes it has, I need to post soon... I promise I will:

This Friday: Present to AEJMC Mid-Winter
March 1st: Lebowski Fest Symposium Abstracts Due
Then, maybe over Spring Break...